2002 – Jezebel – 2020

Two girls in the big city – Straight Outta Catlinburg.   . Aladdin Sane (1913–1938–197?) Watching him dash away, swinging an old bouquet – dead roses Sake and strange divine Uh-h-h-uh-h-uh you’ll make it Passionate bright young things, takes him away to war – don’t fake it Saddening glissando strings Uh-h-h-uh-h-uh – you’ll make it……

the daily clean close, 3-30-20

What better reason is there to clean the home than when the notary public comes over to have us sign papers to finish buying a condo in Florida? Never mind we cannot go there for a extra month at least. At least we are rollin’ with ‘the big boys’, throwing our money around like so……

the daily borentine, 3-27-20

The wind isn’t even blowing. (( sigh )) It’s Day-Who-Knows-How-Many? in the household. Aleksandrs is up in his room. Susan is poking on her I-Pad with Kaden SuperPup at her side. I’m doing the ‘scroll-tap, scroll-tap, scroll-tap’ on Twitter. The coffeemaker and the Keurig are both doing double duty. The (gas) fireplace is on and its……

the daily f. b. humphrey, 3-26-20

  [ Ed. note: If I had any shame at all I’d simply post a purge of some shoestrings I tossed out in the garbage the other day]   The Purging Lutheran (me) achieved some mild success with yesterday’s post, “the daily purge. j. o’rourke, 3-25-20” so what better way to sell-out for more clicks……

the daily purge. j. o’rourke 3-25-20

Well, this is a purge but The Purging Lutheran isn’t going to put a lot of effort into it. I am relying on my “highlight – copy – paste” skill to think-and-do for me. I bought this book long ago (a LONG time ago), read it but forgot most of what’s in it. P.J. O’Rourke……

the daily science experiment, 3-24-20

Long ago Somebody came up with the idea of taking a couple hydrogen atoms and an atom of oxygen, connected* them and *POOF!* it became a water molecule. Fresh water is great for drinking, mixing with Kool Aid, brushing teeth, making ice cubes and, if you want, steam. Homer Simpson took this a step further……

the daily enough, 3-23-20

In these uncertain times there is one thing certain – Campbells Cream of Celery Soup will never sell out. Poor ‘C of C’, you’re great for recipes but are forced to sit at the back of the bus when it comes to being lunchtime goo. Susan and I toddled out to Big Box Food this……

the daily snorentine, 3-20-20

  My daughter, Marta, has been observing the universal quarantine while living in The City of Big Shoulders. Her cat, Jezebel, has adopted her own version of the quarantine she has claimed as her own, – ‘snorentine’. Cats are pretty smart people. Let’s all follow her example. Thank you, Marta and Jezebel, for showing us……

the daily cross (part two), 3-19-20

Me, day four of the national lockdown.   Now, more crosses on the wall. Susan bought this cross for me when she was in Seville, Spain. Did she buy it from a barber? I doubt it but you never know if a barber might be working in a trinket shop to earn a few extra……

the daily cross, 3-18-20

As long as I’m sitting here staring at the walls I might as well show you one of the walls I’m staring at. These are crosses and Jesus-related pictures I have gathered over the decades. Some have been picked up at trinket shops, used item stores, received as gifts, ones which have been in the……

the daily zobu, 3-17-20

As I get older I am convinced that aches and pains have actually laid dormant in my body waiting for the completely wrong time to say, “ (((grunt ))) ”. Off and on for the past few weeks I have a soft, lowing pain near my lower rear driver-side teeth. So off to the dentist……

the daily purge … or something, 3-16-20

Social distancing is the phrase of the day. The week. The month. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has these three recommendations regarding the Wuhan virus: Stay home: People who are mildly ill with COVID-19 are able to isolate at home during their illness. You should restrict activities outside your home, except for getting……

the view from the front porch 3-15-20

Most churches seem to be closed to their parishioners today and if they have the technology they live-streamed their services this morning. Holy Cross Lutheran streamed our 8:45 and 11:00 services. The 8:45 (traditional) had about 130 viewers, the 11:00 (modern beat music) around 30 or so. Susan watched the 8:45. I listened to some……

the daily doom, 3-13-20

An update from Susan after her trip to Big Box Food Building: Big Box Food company was ridiculously busy this morning. Oddly enough, carts weren’t loaded with yumms. Why? Because there was no meat, no bread, no milk, no toilet paper and no soup. Is it a French toast emergency? Sorry, Charlie, you’re out of……

the daily cancellation, 3-12-20

As of March 12, 2020 various universities, professional sports leagues, Bible studies, pizza deliveries and college basketball tournaments have been either cancelled or postponed* because of the Wuhan virus. Who am I to argue with this? Politics aside, it’s always a good idea to 1. wash your hands, 2. sneeze into your elbow pit or……

the daily belly, 3-11-20

The wife and I went to visit my lap band surgeon this morning. So far I am down one bag of water-softener salt*. This is despite being out of town for a month living on a cruise ship for seven days and three weeks in an air b’n’b where responsible fooding was at a minimum.……

the daily purge 3-10-20

By the looks of this picture it must always be time for summertime here in the The Purging Lutheran’s home. Spring? Who needs ya? How do we have so many of these? We never used them best to my recollection yet here they is. Here’s what happens: 1. TPL and My Sweet Rib at Big……

the view from the pew 3-8-20

Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 10:45 service, Pastor McClean presiding. The bell choir played “Sanctuary” and “There is a Redeemer”. Paul led us with the hymns “Jesus, Refuge of the Weary”, “Come Unto Me Ye Weary”, “There is a Redeemer” and “Let Us Ever Walk With Jesus”. After Invocation we and a great cloud of witnesses……

the daily bone, 3-6-20

These are the V’s knees. In a joint effort to find relief, Susan and I visited our orthopedic surgeon to look into knees replacement surgeries. ‘Knees’ = plural, meaning two knees*. Doctor E. said it’s best to stick to one at a time considering my health record (which has set no records) so let’s take……

the daily paperclip, er, uh trombone, no, wait! valentine, 3-5-20

WARNING! Saucy content! (This is an opinion piece by our science editor, Jacque Verbanq) ———————————————————— For this was on seynt Volantynys day Whan euery bryd cometh there to chese his make.*   I thought I’d jump ahead of the misery which is Valentine’ Day. No, love is not a misery. Having a card delivered is not……

the daily purge 3-4-20

OK, let’s do this again. The Purging Lutheran’s debacle of a post on Monday is a reminder that webblobbing is serious sport. Mistakes made are mistakes pointed out. Believability falls through the roof and soon the reader is asking, “Do I trust his  judgement or is he a flimflam man?” Persistent Reader: Do I trust……

the daily dunce, 3-3-20

Heavy sigh. After a month away from home and daily purges, I returned to work/therapy and posted what I thought was a Black & Decker coffeemaker but instead, according to Marta, was actually a Black & Decker juicer. When Susan put it out on the dining room table to be sent to Goodwill I looked at……

the daily purge 3-2-20

Well, it’s vacation over and back to work for The Purging Lutheran. In Florida My Sweet Rib worked on her tan, bought a condominium, learned her ‘Mojito limit’ (two) and looked gorgeous doing it all. While filling out the papers for the loan, insurance and assorted administrativia involved in home buying, I smiled politely and signed……