the purging lutheran 3-29-19

Two weeks ago The Purging Lutheran had the flu. Ugh! Today’s issue is called food poisoning. The suspect is sausage used for a breakfast casserole. Bleah! Numbers 11:18-20 18 “Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to……

the daily purge 3-28-19

The Purging Lutheran suspects that the person who made yesterday’s clay hearts also made these clay crosses. Well, that’s about it for today’s purge. These and the hearts are sitting in a plastic Kroger bag waiting to be delivered to our church yet My Sweet Rib completely ignores them. Is she hoping they’ll just ‘go……

the daily purge 3-27-19

After The Purging Lutheran was newly minted as one of Jesus’ saints I bought many crosses, necklaces and other Christian-themed doo-dads to give to Sunday School students (when applicable). I don’t even remember what the standard was for earning/winning/deserving one. Or were they given for non-students? Maybe I didn’t even mean to giving them away……

the daily purge 3-26-19

Welcome The Synonym-izer. When The Purging Lutheran wants to get my point across I like to use as many words as possible to my point across. Today’s word is fraud. And today’s purge is a wallette which contains many pockets with which to hold credit and debit cards. Have you ever had your credit card……

the daily purge 3-25-19

Because without dogs we’d never know what the insides of things looked like. The Purging Lutheran is grateful tennis balls aren’t filled with Alien-like molecular acid or we’d have any number of holes in our floor about 75′ deep. Who needs that? Fortunately for our home and All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club*  tennis……

the view from the pew, holy cross lutheran, 3-23-19

Saturday evening service with Pastor Sattler. We sang songs played by Paul on the piano. Like last week it was simple and unassuming. We sang “Jesus Sinners Doth Receive” (opening); “Great is thy Faithfulness” (sermon); “Oh, That the Lord Would Guide My Ways” (offering); “Breathe” (Communion); and “You Are My All in All” (closing). Thank……

the daily purge 3-22-19

The beer? So-so. “For the millionth time, it’s a gargoyle, not Satan”, so says the Stone IPA website in response to the million times they’ve been asked if their logo is a picture of Satan. May be they otter take the hint and make their logo look a little less satanic and a little more……

the daily purge 3-21-19

In regards to the un-helmeted character shown above on the case of this game going to a gararge sale The Purging Lutheran will paraphrase my pastor, “Fine, if you want to make bad choices then don’t be surprised by bad consequences”.  Not wearing helmets in battle, knee pads riding a skateboard, seat belts in your……

the daily purge 3-20-19

There’s a movie out there, Lifeboat, directed by A. Hitchcock about a lifeboat filled with survivors from a sunk ship. As it turns out every couple hours or so a person dies or is found missing from the boat without anyone figuring out how it happens. Well, one person knows because he (or she) is……

the daily purge 3-19-19

My Sweet Rib continues her fashion disposaling with this handsome piece of jewelry being sent away to adorn another woman’s neck. But why? Why is she forsaking her bling? Her blang? Her blung? The Purging Lutheran asked her why. She responded: I don’t wear it anymore. Someone else might like it. When pressed further she……

the daily purge 3-18-19

My Sweet Rib beat the ‘replace-in-30-days-at-no-cost’ bell with a newer washer-and-dryer set. Is this a scam she’s pulling on Big Box? The last dryer (see above) went belly up on us when the heating sensor quit. The washer (see abover) was fine but these guys always travel in pairs. Will she find fault with this……

the view from the pew, holy cross lutheran, 3-16-19

Saturday service, 5:30, Pastor Sattler. Karl played hymns and praises on the piano. They were pleasant and simple and easy to sing from the red hymnal (when applicable). A single piano made the sanctuary feel modest. We sang, “My Faith Looks Up to Thee”, “Children of the Heavenly Father”, “Spirit of the Living God”, and……

the daily purge 3-15-19

This is all The Purging Lutheran wants out of a video game, just a little common sense. Was it that hard for a main character to wear a helmet for added protection? But wait! What is that strapped to his helmet? Could it be a pack of cigarettes? How does a normal person respond to……

the daily purge 3-14-19

The Purging Lutheran can’t figure out what’s wrong with you young kids and your lack of regard for proper safety equipment. Yeah, I grew up in a world where the word ‘safety’ was synonymous for ‘weakness’ but good gravy, don’t you guys learn anything? My generation blazed the trail for separated shoulders, dislocated toes, (mostly……

the daily purge 3-13-19

The Purging Lutheran would like to thank his friend, Dr. DuBois, for filling in on Montag and possibly Tuestag. This week has been a queasy smear* trying to hold the bug at bay. Question: Did you ever get old and start hearing things which weren’t said? Not auditory hallucinations but Person A says ‘X’ and……

the daily purge 3-12-19

The Purging Lutheran thinks this looks like a purse. I believe those might be dog tags a dog would wear, certainly not military personnel. And the purse and tags are different shades of grey. Or maybe even different shades of gray. You choose. What I am led to conclude is this is a purse for……

the view from the pew, holy cross lutheran , 3-9-19

Saturday evening service with Pastor McClean Holy Cross Lutheran School’s student band opened worship with a rendition of “The Colonel Bogey March”. They later played “Simple Gifts”. Pastor McClean and Paul played “Come, Now is the Time to Worship”, “On Eagle’s Wings”, “Give Thanks”, “Amazing Grace” and “Lord Reign in Me”. We admitted our sins……

the daily purge 3-11-19

The Purging Lutheran is absent today. He is currently knocking on Heaven’s door, living on a prayer, wants to be sedated, everybody hurts (especially him) and many other rock and roll ‘feeling blah!’ cliche’s. My name is Antoine DuBois, departed 18/19th century French surgeon, come back to fill in for my ailing friend. Get well,……

the daily purge 3-8-19

The Purging Lutheran does my due diligence when it comes to poring over facts and figures on items I am throwing away. Usually, there’s too much information to use during my 30 – 120 minutes of therapy. I looked up what I thought would be oodles of synonyms for the word ‘moccasin’. All I found……

the daily purge 3-7-19

More Christian trimming. The Purging Lutheran thinks crosses are great to wear but but but but but after several cups of coffee there can only questions. When Christians wear crosses, do we mean it? What does ‘it’ mean? Do we wear them them to prove to others or to ourselves we are Christians? Did the……

the daily purge 3-6-19

The Purging Lutheran ordinarily believes candles are a simple concept. Attorneys don’t agree with me. This candle comes with warnings: ===> A lit candle is a fire. ===> Candle jar may become hot while burning. ===> Burn within sight. ===> Keep away from things that catch fire. ===> Jar may become hot, HANDLE CAREFULLY. (capitalization……

the daily purge 3-5-19

Honestly, who cares about microfibers? How do microfibers work? Through capillary action? What is capillary action? Wigglepedia sez this … Capillary action is the ability of a liquid to flow in narrow spaces without the assistance of, or even in opposition to, external forces like gravity. And there you have it. Do you know what……

the daily purge 3-4-19

It is possible that The Purging Lutheran has already purged this box of map magnets. If so, how did it get back to The Gatwick Compound? Who can tell? The Bible is filled with mysteries. Relationships are filled with mysteries. Choose Your Own Adventure books are filled with xillions of possible mysterious outcomes. Pick up……

the view from the pew, holy cross lutheran, 3-2-19

Saturday 5:30 service, Pastor Sattler leading, God in charge Our praise songs were played on guitar by Brandon. I especially like the near a cappella parts where he leads us in voice. There is no instrument as lovely as the original, the human voice. He played, we sang “We Fall down”, “How Great Is Our God”,……

the daily purge 3-1-19

Just like humans need new body parts so do homes need items replaced for a smooth running home. The Purging Lutheran would benefit by having two of his calcified knees replaced with ones made of titanium with bearings of wear-resistant plastic. It’s even possible I could benefit by a metal plate in my head, not……