the daily snorentine, 3-20-20

 

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My daughter, Marta, has been observing the universal quarantine while living in The City of Big Shoulders. Her cat, Jezebel, has adopted her own version of the quarantine she has claimed as her own, – ‘snorentine’. Cats are pretty smart people. Let’s all follow her example. Thank you, Marta and Jezebel, for showing us how it is done

 

One Day in the Life of Janis Janisovich*

I’m pretty sure it is illegal to show a photograph of a cigarette on the unklewööb so I’ll state that my day begins with a cup of coffee and two cigarettes. Before anyone loses their mind let me say that Susan and I both quit smoking and drinking for +20 years and only have started dabbling in those only recently. Except for our Caribbean cruise on the first week of Februāris. My liver and at least one of my lungs cried out Roberto Duran style, “No mas!” And no mas I did. Now life is back to semi-nermal and both hobbies have been reduced. What else does a guy do during these trying times? Look and see.

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Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So is lunch and dinner. And in-between snacks. My morning eggs are obviously imported from Florida as they are fit, tan and ready to eat. Let’s get ready to scramble!

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A snorentiner’s** best friends are a coffeemaker and its bud, the local Keurig. While it seems contrarian that healthy gulps of coffee mixes well with sleeping but boredom pretty much negates the effects of caffeine. That’s just the way it is.

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Lunch is important. Why soup? And why goopy soup? Because the same people who are bought up all the toilet paper*** are the same who bought up all Campbells Chunky Soups.

Hint: Buy one week’s supply of anything at a time weekly. The elderly will thank you … if they don’t slap you around first for being a hog.

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This is my napping/thinking/reading/Nętflix comfy chair. Many important thoughts pop through my brain in between investigating the insides of my eyelids, watching Formula 1: Drive to Survive, and reading articles on my I-Pad.

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Snack time! Susan is a big friend of Big Angel Food (as am I) and bought this the other day. Oops! It’s gone.

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Neil Diamond‘s “I Am…I Said
L.A.’s fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is “lay back”
Palm trees grow and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin’ about
Making my way back
Well I’m New York City born and raised
But nowadays
I’m lost between two shores
L.A.’s fine, but it ain’t home
New York’s home
But it ain’t mine no more
“I am”… I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
“I am”… I cried

“I am”… said I
And I am lost and I can’t
Even say why
Leavin’ me lonely still

 

Honestly, Neil? What was you thinking about?

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Then it is dinner, snack, brush, floss, sleep, retreat.
This is just one of the 3,653 days The Purging Lutheran has spent in isolation.

 

 

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The author after five days in seclusion.

 

 

Proverbs 3:31-26

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
    don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.

 


*with massive apologies to writer Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

**trademark

***I’m no believer in karma but here’s hoping those who bought 48 rolls of toilet paper yesterday find the need to use them up by Saturday afternoon.

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