the daily paperclip, er, uh trombone, no, wait! valentine, 3-5-20

WARNING! Saucy content!

(This is an opinion piece by our science editor, Jacque Verbanq)


For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd cometh there to chese his make.*


I thought I’d jump ahead of the misery which is Valentine’ Day. No, love is not a misery. Having a card delivered is not a misery. Chocolates, expensive meals or saying “I love you” is not a misery. Where the misery lies is in the desperation many men endure to ‘prove’ their love to their wives and the stern eye they give them in return.

I’m not saying I ‘do’ love right, and nobody does, but gee whiz! guys try thinking ahead a few days before you find yourself clustered with other men in the card aisle at Krogers on your ways home from work two Fridays from now. A little planning goes a long way. Leave the house ten minutes sooner than you would for the office and do your shopping then. That way you can scribble a heart felt sonnet to your lover at the stoplights between the breakroom and your front door. Think, pooh bear, think.

I’m not saying I ‘do’ love right, and nobody does, but gee whiz! ladies give your guys a break. They, like you, are working all week making deals with total strangers, paying taxes and timing roundabouts in their favor. It’s not easy to juggle all the demands spinning around in a man’s cranium like plates on poles. Please, do not pout if he forgets the card or a loaf of freshly plucked flowers. If he doesn’t ‘love’ you today then he didn’t ‘love’ you yesterday and probably will not ‘love’ you tomorrow. But, you know what? It’s likely he does love you but just not in the way you believe it should be (think Disney films). 


Thank you, Jacque. Nicely put.



These are the two cards I am giving Susan this year. I chose the one on the left because translategargledotcom states the French word for ‘trombone’ is ‘paperclip’. Who knew? I mean besides the French? The card on the right expresses my true feelings for Susan. Love is gonna love.

1 Peter 3:7

 The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.

1 Peter 3:1-4

The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.


*Chaucer, “Parlement of Foules,” c.1381



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