the daily purge … or something, 3-16-20

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Social distancing is the phrase of the day. The week. The month. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has these three recommendations regarding the Wuhan virus:

  • Stay home: People who are mildly ill with COVID-19 are able to isolate at home during their illness. You should restrict activities outside your home, except for getting medical care.
  • Avoid public areas: Do not go to work, school, or public areas.
  • Avoid public transportation: Avoid using public transportation, ride-sharing, or taxis.

.

Persistent Reader: Oh, c’mon, TPL! People can get this information anywhere.

The Purging Lutheran: Really? Is that so? Local and state municipalities in Indiana and surrounding states have ordered no gatherings of more than 250 persons. The CDC has recommended crowds not exceeding 50 individuals. This includes websites on ka Pūnaewele*. Portal sites and chatrooms of more than 250 (soon to be 50) members/visitors will be asked to shut down or severely restrict entrance to their content.

Persistent Reader: That’s insane!

The Purging Lutheran: It may be but I don’t make the rules.**

 

It looks as though The Purging Lutheran with its low visitor rate is in the catboid’s seat regarding information dissemination. Just sit tight and we’ll get through this mostly in one piece.

Today’s purge is a book about the television series, The Dick Van Dyke Show. It explains how the show was developed, the actors involved and synopses of each episode. It really is a funny show. If you find it playing on your television then stop, drop, and watch it. Here are some quotes from various episodes:

*****

Rob Petrie: [Rob has just reported a UFO] She knew exactly what I was talking about. She was afraid to say anything because there was somebody listening in.

Laura Petrie: Who?

Rob Petrie: I don’t know who, but I know darn well I heard more than one person laughing.

*****

[an applicant enters the Odd But True office claiming to have walked all the way from Buffalo, New York, on his hands]

Rob Petrie: You think he actually walked all the way?

Laura Petrie: I don’t know. I’d like to know how he opened the door.

*****

Judge: Then will you present your case to the court, please, and keeping in mind that we have a very busy calendar.

Rob Petrie: [trying to impress with a lawyer-like manner] Thank you, Honor. I’m fully aware of your busy calendar, and I will attempt at ALL times to be as brief and concise and succinct as I possibly can. And now I would like to give my opening statement, if it so please the court.

*****

Rob Petrie: [on the phone] Charlie? Hi. Listen, I want… Would you like to do anything tonight? You pick… You would? Great, Charlie. Uh, would you like to go to a movie or go bowling? Bowling it is. Great. Hey, listen, I’ll pick you up, Charlie. You still live over on North Roxman Drive? I’ll pick you up… What do you mean you don’t live on Roxman Drive? Do you… Is this Charlie Mandel? Oh, heck no. I’m sorry. I’d… I seem to have a wrong number. Does this, uh… Does that mean you won’t go out with me?

*****

Mrs. Billings: Oh, Mr. Petrie, I saw your show the other night.

Rob Petrie: Oh, thank you very much.

Mrs. Billings: Well, you can’t win them all, can you.

Rob Petrie: I’m sorry.

Mrs. Billings: Oh, I don’t blame you, Mr. Petrie. I could have turned it off. My husband said, “Why don’t you turn it off?” and I said “No, it’s going to get better.”, but it didn’t, did it?

*****

Psalm 126:1-3

It seemed like a dream, too good to be true,
    when God returned Zion’s exiles.
We laughed, we sang,
    we couldn’t believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations—
    God was wonderful to them!”
God was wonderful to us;
    we are one happy people.

 

*Hawaiians might recognize this in their own language as ‘the internet’

**Nor should I

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