At the end of any of these please feel free to add the phrase “due to Covid 19”.
A is for Amazon, our source for talcum powder but not disinfectant wipes, toilet paper, gloves and masks – due to Covid-19 (see how that works?)
B is for ‘Birx’, an American physician who is working on The Wuhan and wears great looking scarves; also for ‘Blursday’, the name of our new one-day week
C is for ‘carry out’, unless you go to your local grocery your only option for food and adult beverages; also for celebrities telling us we’re all in this together (I’m looking at you, Ellen Degeneres, for complaining your mansion ‘is a prison‘); and currently unavailable which means everything you need.
D is for ‘Door Dash’, the lifeline between our mouths and room temperature fries.
E is for epidemiola … eppidimi … epuhdemmyo … oh, what the heck! You know, the study and analysis of the distribution patterns and determinants of health and disease conditions in defined populations.
F is for ‘Fauci’, an immunologist, the short guy at all the Wuhan Virus Task Force briefings.
G is for ‘grooming‘, which remains optional
H is for ‘hands’ but not ‘Honda’ or ‘Hyundai’ – types of cars we’d hope to be flying around in by 2020 instead we’re just learning how to wash our hands all over again.
I is for Imagine, the recent video in which insanely rich artists told us to imagine no possessions while taping themselves singing in their very nice homes
J is for Jerry the UPS driver who brings me my Kuerig refills – due to Covid-19.
K is for kafija, pot after pot after pot.
L is for Lysol, Clorox’s significant other; liquor, a basic ingredient for Blursday (see ‘B’).
M is for money as in ‘where’s my stimulus check?’
N is for Netflix which Susan broke.
O is for overweight and overwrought, which many of us are becoming; overfertilized which what I did to my lawn by miscalculating the spreader’s controller.
P is for ‘Phrases’ as in ‘worn out phrases’ such as
in these uncertain times (yeah, I’m pretty certain these ‘times‘ stink)
now more than ever
we’re in this together (right, have you been to Walmart when Clorox wipes are in stock?)
we are here for you
staying apart together
you should buy a Toyota
Q is for ‘quarentunes’, songs like ‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me’ by The Police, ‘Don’t Come Around Here No More” by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers and “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M.
Note: It isn’t necessary to listen to songs with hugely long titles. ‘Alone’ by Heart works just as well.
R is for restaurants, restrooms and roads which remain nearly empty – due to Covid-19.
S is for ‘Sara’, who we hope gets out into the free world for a burger and a beer; sports which would be nice to have;
T is for toilet paper – the big daddy of them all.
U is for unprecedented times – see ‘P’ for phrases.
V is for virus, ventilators and vaccines of which we have more than enough, just enough and not enough of.
W is for ‘Wuhan’. Darn you, Wuhan!!
X is for xenomorph, a type of alien from the science-fiction movie Alien known for its grotesque appearance and parasitic form of reproduction;
also for ekstenuating circumstances – serving to lessen the seriousness of an offence
Y is for ‘yesterday’, the same as ‘today‘ and ‘nexterday’.
Z is for ‘zombie’, a more fun pandemic.
You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: “Love others as you love yourself.” But if you play up to these so-called important people, you go against the Rule and stand convicted by it. You can’t pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God’s law and ignoring others. The same God who said, “Don’t commit adultery,” also said, “Don’t murder.” If you don’t commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you’re a murderer, period.