My Sweet Rib* puttered through the cabinettes below our bathroom sinks the other day. Among the many items** she found unworthy of keeping were several pill boxes. Getting older is a skill – a delicate ballet of eating poorly, drinking excessively and, eventually, popping pills to reverse the effects of the first two.
The top pill box is for your 40s. It includes a vitamin, a stress reducer and perhaps an appetite suppressor.
The next one is for your 50s. It’s larger because, with what you’ve been taking in your 40s, you now have added medicines for your Type 2 diabetes and blood pressure. The third pill box, the round one, is still for your 50s but adds the fun of ‘going around in circles’. Why ‘going around in circles’ is supposed to be fun I have zero idea but ‘marketing’, you know.
The bottom pill box is for your 60s, where your sickly author resides, adds a whole bunch of thisses and thoses meds. The heart starts going belly-up. More meds. Maybe you suffer from an enraged prostate. More meds. Is Parkinson’s a issue? Well, guess what? Dementia? Fuggedaboutit! Life becomes a slippery slope with banana peel slippers headed straight to a 3’ x 8’ x 6’ hole in the ground.
Sound depressing? It shouldn’t be! Forward-thinking health disasters like myself can compensate for my upcoming physical doom*** by using my Pinterest**** skills to design my Advent calendar pill box. (see below)
Taking pills shouldn’t be all hum and drum. Enjoy that overactive bladder!
You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom,
when you make friends with Madame Insight.
She’s worth far more than money in the bank;
her friendship is better than a big salary.
Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth;
nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.
With one hand she gives long life,
with the other she confers recognition.
Her manner is beautiful,
her life wonderfully complete.
She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.
Hold her tight—and be blessed!
*the sweetest of all ribs
**stay tuned for exciting restroom-themed purges!
***but the soul rocks on to Jesus afterwards. Not to worry!
****I’m not a Pinterest guy but thanks anyway to Pinterest