Trust The Purging Lutheran, this is a shirt. It belonged to My Sweet Rib. Oh, I suppose it still does but she will not be wearing it anywhere.
“Why is that, Mr. So-and-so?”
It is because Kaden the Superpup (The Jaws of Mt. Kilamanjaro; The Teeth of Navarone; Citizen Pain; Ben Hurt) jumped at MSR and caught the shirt’s fabric with a tooth after she came from work one day. She did not realize it until she wore it to work again and discovered a hole nearly a mile wide (in ant miles) at the elbow. She wasn’t embarrassed about it. When the security guard mentioned it to her she said, “Big whoop! You wanna fight about it?” He cowered and meekly said, ‘no, miss msr‘. She offered it up to me yesterday as a purgeable along with a few other items you’ll read about next week. What shall be next?
Hostile accusers appear out of nowhere,
they stand up and badger me.
They pay me back misery for mercy,
leaving my soul empty.
When they were sick, I dressed in black;
instead of eating, I prayed.
My prayers were like lead in my gut,
like I’d lost my best friend, my brother.
I paced, distraught as a motherless child,
hunched and heavyhearted.
But when I was down
they threw a party!
All the nameless riffraff of the town came
chanting insults about me.
Like barbarians desecrating a shrine,
they destroyed my reputation.
God, how long are you going
to stand there doing nothing?
Save me from their brutalities;
everything I’ve got is being thrown to the lions.
I will give you full credit
when everyone gathers for worship;
When the people turn out in force
I will say my Hallelujahs.