This was a can cooler foisted upon My Sweet Rib the other day at the grocery store. She offered it up as a sacrificial purge.
Part 1 – the definition
Hell = hell; place of perdition.
Mann = man; mortal
‘s = ownership; belongs to
Hellmann’s = “man who belongs to hell”
Part 2 – the reasoning
Hellmann’s is the producer of the best selling mayonnaise in America*. What is mayonnaise? Mayonnaise is a thick, creamy dressing often used as a condiment. It is used to make potato salad, which is yummy. What isn’t yummy is mayonnaise is made with eggs. Eggs, unfortunately, are best buds with salmonella, a nasty bacteria which can kill you bad. Some of our Persistent Readers appreciate visuals when explaining scientific dibbideedads. Our friend, Gary Larsen, is here to help.
Part 3 – the result
And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.
* America is this nation’s greatest country.