the daily purge 12-27-16

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This is Axe Body Spray, a ‘grooming’ product targeted for the young male audience, usually from age 13 until marriage. To any one who has had a son go through puberty, there is more ‘grooming’ involved with gorillas who pick nits off their brothers and sisters in far off jungles. Axe, or ‘Lynx’ in England and other countries across the sea, comes in a wide variety of scents that, and let’s be honest with ourselves, all smell the same. Mixing Axe with teen sweat can be a volatile combination. After one or two weeks of alternating layers of Axe and perspiration, it’s not unusual for passersby to suffer from ‘skank contamination’ which symptoms are similar to carbon dioxide poisoning: nausea, vomiting, dizziness, headache, rapid breathing and flushing … which also happen to be the same symptons caused by pregnancy, alcoholism, fear of heights, and those BOOM BOX stereos you sit next to at the stoplight.

Anyhoo, today’s purge is a can of Axe, a Christmas gift from long ago, well over ten years in fact. I’m sure it is a good idea to place it gently in the garbage to avoid sudden contact with any metal object to avoid a spark.

Psalm 51:7   Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

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