the daily purge 7-21-16


Q: What do shopping carts, puppies and magazine baskets have in common?

A: They are guaranteed to leave nicks & dents, bite marks or scratches on the surrounding scenery. Shopping carts are notorious for escaping their corrals and finding their ways into the sides of your car. Carts are scientific proof that all matter has a gravitational pull. In a freewheeling, non-Einsteinian universe a cart might drift hither and yon in its parking lot with no real direction in life, perhaps forever. But Albert told us that opposites attract, that a cheap shopping cart up at Krogers naturally gravitates to the driver’s side door of The Purging Lutheran’s Honda Ridgeline.

Puppies excel at “pre-conditioning” the fine furniture in your parlour or waiting room. A parlour is the room between the front door and the rest of my home where a young man, courting my daughter, would sit and wait for my princess, for a date. In this age of technology, background checks are easier to access so the bounder might not have to wait long for a nodding ascent.


Anyway, a criminal forensics expert could easily prove that it is the family puppy, as opposed to your teenaged nephew, who is leaving teeth marks on your Huffman Koos ottoman.

1 Corinthians 15:33   Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

The magazine basket, some people keep in family rooms, bathrooms or bedrooms. They hold many and any type of magazines. Rolling Stone, Christianity Today, World, Home and Away, your church newsletter, Readers Digest, Bow and Hunter, Biblical Archaeology, and Wooden Boat to name just a few. They do their damage mostly to the trim along the walls by being banged by bared feet or a vacuum cleaner. Our basket caused similar carnage in one of our rooms as well. It will soon make its way to the local Goodwill Industries just down or up the street from us. Say goodbye, basket.

Job 26:7   He stretches the northern skies over empty space; He hangs the earth on nothing. 


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