Let’s all go to the lobby film review #5

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It’s difficult to review a movie today that isn’t bulging with potty mouth (bad language), hoochie-coo (don’t-make-me-say-it-you-know-what-I’m-talking-about) and hitting (violence) from end to end, and when you find one it helps if it’s a moderately un-dumb movie. Except Independence Day: Resurgence, which I paid for in more ways than one, the other movies are available on Amazon Prime.

Independence Day: Resurgence
Short review: Insipid.
Medium review: Judd Hirsch serves as the only cinematic opioid in an otherwise painful-to-watch film.
Long review: Everything you like in the first Independence Day is crammed into Resurgence while having to make room for new story lines. Can you say ‘talking space ball’? Can you say ‘exotic dancer becomes hospital administrator’? Sigh.

Potty mouth: 4 out of 10
Hoochie-coo: 2 out of 10
Hitting: 100 out of 10

 

Locke – Under normal circumstances when the word “experimental” is used by cast and crew to describe a movie, it is best to run quickly and run far from it. Locke runs ~80 minutes only showing one person driving a car and talking on a car phone for the entire run of the film. Fortunately, that one person is actor Tom Hardy of Inception and Batman 3 fame.

Hardy plays Ivan Locke, a construction engineer ready to pour the foundation for his greatest building early the next morning. While leaving the job site he receives a phone call that changes his life. We are witness to how past relationships can affect a person’s behavior in the present. One includes a long deceased father Ivan has an ongoing ‘conversation’ with as though he were in the back seat of the car. The other involves a one night stand with a spinster seven months ago at a previous job site. What follows are various phone calls he has with bosses, coworkers, family members and others as he tries to balance the plates of his life on sticks seemingly made of rubber. As the calls mount, he tries to keep his marriage intact; assuring his bosses that the right materials will be sent to the construction site; trying to motivate his assistant from drinking too much so he can be Locke’s feet on the ground and make sure everything runs smoothly or face potential disaster 20 years in the future.
Do yourself a favor and make it past the first ten minutes when the issues start accumulating. Tom Hardy is splendid in this movie.

Potty mouth: 3/10
Hootchie-coo: 0/10
Hitting: 0/10

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The Discoverers – Griffin Dunne (An American Werewolf in London) stars as a recently divorced college teacher who, with his snarky teenaged son and irritating pre-teen daughter, goes on a road trip parallel the trail taken by The Lewis and Clark Expedition to find his missing father, a retired professor of history. It sounded encouraging but the children were misbehaving and treating dad poorly. Six minutes into the film the father and daughter are having a cussing contest. That’s when the movie ended for me.

Potty mouth: Yuk! out of 10
Hootchie-coo: Unknown out of 10
Hitting: Probably out of 10

Bedemon – If you ever wonder how demons get to work, this four minute movie will tell you how at least one bad guy from the spirit world gets there. Bedemon is about ‘the monster that lives under your bed’ when you are trying to sleep. A young lady is harassed by the monster to ‘just look over the edge’ so he can eat her but things don’t go his way just like they sometimes don’t at your job.

Potty mouth: 0/10
Hootchie-coo: 0/10
Hitting: 0/10

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