It’s a modern, plastic comb. People use it to make themselves look, quoting Debbie Harry, “supa-shawp!” You can command your hair to go this way, thataway and almost any other way. Sometimes a person needs to add gel to keep their hair at a particular angle it isn’t predisposed to lay. People with short hair can use it but mostly for vanity purposes because short hair rarely behaves. Long hair? Let the Bible tell you a story about long hair. No, not about Samson. It’s about Absalom, one of King David’s sons.
2 Samuel 18:9-15
Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.
When one of the men saw what had happened, he told Joab, “I just saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree.”
Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What! You saw him? Why didn’t you strike him to the ground right there? Then I would have had to give you ten shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.”
But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into my hands, I would not lay a hand on the king’s son. In our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for my sake.’ And if I had put my life in jeopardy—and nothing is hidden from the king—you would have kept your distance from me.”
Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.
The Purging Lutheran didn’t copy and paste this just because of a search for ‘long hair’ and ‘bible’, but an important message can come from reading what the man who found Absalom said about not harming him. He heeded the requests of his leaders as well as noting this was the son of King David. It’s never a good idea to rise up against The Lord’s annointed. I’ll stop here because it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in a sticky theological wicket.
How else can you use this modern, plastic comb? Some people wrap a piece of paper over it and blow on it to make it sound like a kazoo. Mean people bend it back and spring it loose to whack a victim on the heiney (don’t ever do that!). Still others use it as a prop by wearing it as a mustache in a comedy routine. So that’s what a comb is all about, Charlie Brown.
So why throw it away? Because the teeth on this comb are sharp as knives. I wasn’t able to test it before I bought it last week. It wouldn’t do for a man to weep trying to make himself look ‘just so’ for his beautiful My Sweet Rib.
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.