The Purging Lutheran is getting ahead of the “Christmas In July” curve that car dealerships and mattress stores fill the cablewaves with in an effort to bump depressed summer business. Oreo’s idea of Christmas is ‘giving’, giving Oreo cookies to those you love. And not just a bag of Oreos from your local Piggly Wiggly, Schnucks or Jerry’s Foods but a tin can full of Oreos, so *cha-ching!* add a couple thousand percent to the retail price. So even before you’ve given this blessed gift to nephews X, Y, and Z, you’ve already ‘given’ to Nabisco, maker of fine products such Kraker Bran, Lorna Doone, Mallomars, and Mister Salty Pretzels. Just so you know, your God is a just God. There are no mentions of Oreo Cookies anywhere in Scripture and the creeds, but I’d be OK with it if they were included in the confession of sin.
What else can we divine from this tin? Of course I don’t know anything about the nuclear energy industry but it is very possible these cookies were manufactured in nearby Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania judging by the ‘glow in the dark’ cookie mom just unscrewed. That’s just a guess, though. And the reams of paper the kid has to write his Christmas list? Too bad, son. It looks like Old Man Kringle already has it covered for you with a box of pencils and probably some socks or Fruit of the Looms. Be happy with get you get. There’s no hoverboard in your future, kid.
1 Corinthians 13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.